Government Proposes New Earthquake Schedule

In California, the home of The Faux Report’s main office, the locals are always prepared for an earthquake, and likewise never phased when one occurs.  This immunity to the natural disaster Californians have developed is a bi-product of the constant earthquakes scheduled by the Government to take place in the Golden State. However, many Californians, and others interested in visiting the warm, beach-speckled state, have expressed … Continue reading Government Proposes New Earthquake Schedule

Donald Trump Announces Government Officials

NEW YORK CITY, N.Y – “There is a very organized process taking place as I decide on Cabinet and many other positions. I am the only one who knows who the finalists are,” said Donald Trump on November 16th after the election. But sadly, Trump has now lost his precious ‘secret’ as he recently was forced to reveal it to the country. The results are as follows. Secretary … Continue reading Donald Trump Announces Government Officials

Deciphering Your Child’s Report Card

Report cards can be worded in complicated ways, and most times you have no idea what they say and what grade your child received. We spent many weeks looking at children’s report cards, and we finally came up with this translation.

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Trump’s New Book “10,001 Easy Life Tips and Tricks,” Coming Out Early 2017

Photo: The cover of Trump’s new book With November 8th drawing near, America waits with baited breath.  And indeed, with two aggressively controversial candidates, the possible outcomes of this election are creating a stark tension throughout the nation. Clinton, sporting a 65% chance at winning the election, has her supporters lowering their guards cautiously.  And while this statistic is causing Trump supporters to nibble their nails down … Continue reading Trump’s New Book “10,001 Easy Life Tips and Tricks,” Coming Out Early 2017

Camilla’s Screen Time Runs Out

Photo: Camilla’s laptop just before running out of time PHOENIX , AZ- Camilla Washington, 18, just started College, and it was a nasty surprise when Parental Controls took over her new Mac laptop. A few minutes into her homework, a warning popped up telling her to, “Finish up, because your time is running out. Save your work in all open programs.” She thought nothing of … Continue reading Camilla’s Screen Time Runs Out

How To Write a Star Wars Movie

Photo: Gramps gives it a go NICASIO, CA- After millionaire and creator or Star Wars George Lucas released the newest Star Wars movie, The Force Awakens, with J.J. Abrams, the script writing team accidentally leaked their method for writing Star Wars movies. The internet soon discovered it, and millions of people now are writing their own Star Wars episodes. “It’s horrible for business,” says director … Continue reading How To Write a Star Wars Movie

Trump Worries About Debate

Photo: Trump breaks down during a meeting with the GOP WASHINGTON, DC- Republican candidate Donald Trump is worried about the upcoming debate with Hillary Clinton. “He thinks Clinton is scary. He has nightmares about her all the time,” says his wife, Melania Trump. Mr. Trump only said that his preparation “isn’t going too well.” The GOP said that they were worried about the state of … Continue reading Trump Worries About Debate

‘My Twitter Was Hacked,’ says Trump

Photo: Trump composes a Tweet about the recent hacker NEW YORK CITY, NY- Just this morning, a hacker broke into Donald Trump’s campaign Twitter account and posted a long string of racial Tweets. Trump believes that the only person that could have done it was someone who worked in the Trump Tower. “How could they know my password if they didn’t see it on the … Continue reading ‘My Twitter Was Hacked,’ says Trump

Features of the New iPhone 7

Photo: Some of the new iPhone 7s, after the famous “steam-roller test” Apple recently released the new iPhone 7. Here are some of the advertised features. “It’s not a bug, it’s a feature.” -Tim Cook, CEO of Apple Is now manufactured by the same company that made the Treo Palm Now only supports Sprint 2G Buy the operating system separately Can only support apps made … Continue reading Features of the New iPhone 7

Popular Sells Ads in Lessons

Photo: Teacher is having a hard time finding the ™ symbol for her student SEATTLE, WA- As students ask their teachers where the ™ symbol is on their keyboards, havoc breaks loose in the advertising offices. Soon after the new update to the website that added customizable keyboard keys, typo fixes and a new advertising system, a student came across the text she … Continue reading Popular Sells Ads in Lessons