Google’s EweTube Aimed at Farmers & Sheep

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CALIFORNIA—Google, the owner of YouTube released a version of their popular website last Friday. The new platform is aimed towards farmers and their sheep and cattle. “There’s a surprising market for this kind of thing,” says Sam Greer, a spokesman for the new company, “We already have a big advertising deal with Farmers Insurance.” We already have a big advertising deal with Farmers … Continue reading Google’s EweTube Aimed at Farmers & Sheep

New Species Of Octopus Found In Deep Sea

Recently, in early 2017, scientists found a new species of octopus (pictured above) in a ocean valley, where previously none have been. Soon after the discovery, Apple released a statement on the find. Apple said that they had discovered the octopus by accident, and used a film of it for a screensaver. They “lost” it after filming it. This creature has a hypnotizing movement, causing divers … Continue reading New Species Of Octopus Found In Deep Sea

The Perfect Valentine’s Day Treat For 2017

Buckle up all you love bugs you, because Valentines Day is just around the corner!  Ahh yes, that beautiful holiday, celebrating love, happiness, and small hearts made out of chalk, featuring perverted messages, advertised as candy!  And what better way to celebrate Valentines Day than to gorge yourself on all the succulent, rich, love filled sweets that orbit around the cheerful holiday!  Chocolate boxes, bars, … Continue reading The Perfect Valentine’s Day Treat For 2017

Idiotic Phobia Victims Endanger Us All

Irrational phobias seem to plague the people of America, and whether it be a deathly outlook on darkness, or a rude opinion of our eight legged friends, the majority of the sane population looks down upon those stricken with crippling yet, stupid, (“I know.  I dropped the S bomb.  What’cha gonna do about it huh!”), fears with a grain of disgust. However, while the ridicule … Continue reading Idiotic Phobia Victims Endanger Us All

Man Spends 30 Minutes on Credit Card Signature

Photo: The modern design of the Green Oaks Mall On Thursday, Michael Fawkes (left) went shopping at the Green Oaks Mall near his house in suburban Connecticut. The hobby artist and muralist purchased some clothes at the Old Navy and a new set of paints at the art store in the mall. When Fawkes went to sign the screen at the checkout counter, “a sudden … Continue reading Man Spends 30 Minutes on Credit Card Signature

Dog Owner Puzzled Why Dog is Winning Fitbit Challenge

Photo: This guy doesn’t need a Fitbit to win! AMHERST, NH- Recently, a man named Nico Jones-Douglas decided that it would be good idea to do the Fitbit challenge. He had been losing to his friends that did the challenge with him previously. “I was having trouble finding someone to do the challenge with me that I could actually beat. So I looked at [my dog] … Continue reading Dog Owner Puzzled Why Dog is Winning Fitbit Challenge

The Best of the RNC Emails

Recently, it was discovered that the Republican National Committee was also hacked, but unlike the Democrats, their emails were not exposed. Yesterday, a small band of hackers hacked the hackers that hacked the political emails. “The [small band of] hackers were able to steal 152 emails before they lost internet connection,” says Rufus Lenhart, a reporter for The Hacker News, “This is a problem we all … Continue reading The Best of the RNC Emails