SAN FRANCISCO, CA – A self-driving car from Zoombies, the Silicon Valley-based startup innovating in autonomous vehicles, hit and killed a pedestrian in San Francisco yesterday night. The company, which just received more than $20 million in series b funding, was quick to stop all testing in the Bay Area, and says that they are already working with the victim’s family. “Accidents happen” “This is … Continue reading Self-Driving Car Kills 1, Everyone Else Kills 100

Benjamin Roberts usually arrives home from his San Francisco job at 5:30 PM. Then the Roberts family eats dinner at 6:00. “His food is waiting,” says his wife, May Roberts, “The kids and I have eaten, but his food is getting cold. Oh look,” she adds, “the dog got it.” As of 7:15, there is still no sign of Benjamin. May plans to try calling … Continue reading It’s 7:00 and Daddy Isn’t Home Yet

Amazon is one of the most successful companies in the world. They are famous for Amazon Prime, the service that offers free next day shipping, as well as streaming video. Last Monday, the commerce giant introduced a new membership for teens and their families. The plan is the cheapest membership that Amazon offers, at only $39 a year (Amazon Prime comes in at $99 a … Continue reading Amazon Offers Special Teen Shipping

Y we dunt speek cuvish anyMoor Iss dat ith iss haurd tooo undirtstand. IIt iss moosty gurnting anp piontingg aht tings. sooo Lolgicly we wundent speeke Caveish Anymor . altho, Peepol half mooved on frum speking sush udder nom-shensh, and it mlakes senth y e dunt shpeek Caveish anymor. wHeen wee speekk Caveish, Ith Ith hurd tu undirtstand. Y u wud wUnt too stheep Caveish … Continue reading Why We Don’t Speak Caveish Anymore

Well, most of you probably came to learn how to cheat on an essay. It is rather simple. There is only 3 steps.This is a 5 paragraph essay, and has sentence frames that can fit any subject. Enjoy! Step 1) Copy Step 2) Paste Step 3) Make very minor edits, according to the subject I am sure this will help! And you’re welcome in advance! … Continue reading How to Cheat on an Essay

The last April Fools’ Day prank was finally discovered in Jean Strickland’s house. Jean lives in a small town in Kentucky. “It was horrible,” Jean says, “It wasn’t bad or anything, it was just…unexpected, I guess.” It was around 7:00 in the morning when she got up from her bed and stumbled down her hallway into her bathroom. She opened the door and the closed … Continue reading Last April Fools’ Day Prank Finally Discovered

This Easter, Robert Quinn, 2, has decided that he is going to attempt to fit an entire plastic Easter egg in his mouth. After the egg is in his mouth, he plans to chew it, and if that doesn’t work, he is going to sit on the grass and suck on it for the rest of the day. It will take an armed SWAT team … Continue reading Toddler Plans to Fit Entire Plastic Egg in Mouth

Yesterday, I received a postcard from my dentist. It told me, to my horror, that I was due for an appointment the very next week. My last visit caught me off guard. It was announced along with a $750 dollar bill that I had cavities that had to be filled that very day. I always hate it when they make you chew those purple plaque tablets that show how … Continue reading A Visit to the Dentist’s

Photo: Elsa does her thing for the second time Just yesterday, Disney announced the planned release of Refrozen, the sequel to their blockbuster hit Frozen (2013). Disney was criticized by those who saw the screening of the new movie for using the same clips for the hit songs Let It Go and Do You Want to Build a Snowman. After many terrible evaluations and Twitter … Continue reading Refrozen- Sequel to Frozen

Photo: The modern design of the Green Oaks Mall On Thursday, Michael Fawkes (left) went shopping at the Green Oaks Mall near his house in suburban Connecticut. The hobby artist and muralist purchased some clothes at the Old Navy and a new set of paints at the art store in the mall. When Fawkes went to sign the screen at the checkout counter, “a sudden … Continue reading Man Spends 30 Minutes on Credit Card Signature