What Are Kids’ Summer Plans?

Photo: Oh yeah! Stock photos!

With the end of school fast approaching, kids are getting ready for some summer fun. Some schools have already opened their doors to summer, and the rest are only days away from the final bell of the year. The Faux Report has compiled a list of the top plans for the 2017 summer. Continue reading “What Are Kids’ Summer Plans?”

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Last April Fools’ Day Prank Finally Discovered

The last April Fools’ Day prank was finally discovered in Jean Strickland’s house. Jean lives in a small town in Kentucky. “It was horrible,” Jean says, “It wasn’t bad or anything, it was just…unexpected, I guess.” It was around 7:00 in the morning when she got up from her bed and stumbled down her hallway into her bathroom. She opened the door and the closed … Continue reading Last April Fools’ Day Prank Finally Discovered

Oakland Zoo Rents Baboons for Lice Removal

The Oakland Zoo in Oakland, California recently announced that they would begin renting out their monkeys for removing lice from children and adults alike. “Most lice removal is expensive and is extremely painful for the customer,” says Erin Harrison, the Senior Manager of PR & Advertising at the Oakland Zoo, “The baboons have found a way to make it an enjoyable experience.” Currently, only 6 monkeys … Continue reading Oakland Zoo Rents Baboons for Lice Removal

Google’s EweTube Aimed at Farmers & Sheep

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CALIFORNIA—Google, the owner of YouTube released a version of their popular website last Friday. The new platform is aimed towards farmers and their sheep and cattle. “There’s a surprising market for this kind of thing,” says Sam Greer, a spokesman for the new company, “We already have a big advertising deal with Farmers Insurance.” We already have a big advertising deal with Farmers … Continue reading Google’s EweTube Aimed at Farmers & Sheep

Man Spends 30 Minutes on Credit Card Signature

Photo: The modern design of the Green Oaks Mall On Thursday, Michael Fawkes (left) went shopping at the Green Oaks Mall near his house in suburban Connecticut. The hobby artist and muralist purchased some clothes at the Old Navy and a new set of paints at the art store in the mall. When Fawkes went to sign the screen at the checkout counter, “a sudden … Continue reading Man Spends 30 Minutes on Credit Card Signature

Dog Owner Puzzled Why Dog is Winning Fitbit Challenge

Photo: This guy doesn’t need a Fitbit to win! AMHERST, NH- Recently, a man named Nico Jones-Douglas decided that it would be good idea to do the Fitbit challenge. He had been losing to his friends that did the challenge with him previously. “I was having trouble finding someone to do the challenge with me that I could actually beat. So I looked at [my dog] … Continue reading Dog Owner Puzzled Why Dog is Winning Fitbit Challenge

The Best of the RNC Emails

Recently, it was discovered that the Republican National Committee was also hacked, but unlike the Democrats, their emails were not exposed. Yesterday, a small band of hackers hacked the hackers that hacked the political emails. “The [small band of] hackers were able to steal 152 emails before they lost internet connection,” says Rufus Lenhart, a reporter for The Hacker News, “This is a problem we all … Continue reading The Best of the RNC Emails

Deciphering Your Child’s Report Card

Report cards can be worded in complicated ways, and most times you have no idea what they say and what grade your child received. We spent many weeks looking at children’s report cards, and we finally came up with this translation.

Continue reading “Deciphering Your Child’s Report Card”