Features of the New iPhone 7

Photo: Some of the new iPhone 7s, after the famous “steam-roller test”

Apple recently released the new iPhone 7. Here are some of the advertised features.

“It’s not a bug, it’s a feature.”

-Tim Cook, CEO of Apple

  • Is now manufactured by the same company that made the Treo Palm
  • Now only supports Sprint 2G
  • Buy the operating system separately
  • Can only support apps made for the version of iOS
  • Glass is now even more breakable, more so with a screen protector
  • Larger size forces users to buy pants with bigger pockets and larger handbags
  • As part of the planned obsolescence, it will be completely obsolete  6 months after it is purchased
  • The extra camera gives the FBI one more way to spy on you in 4K video quality and take mug shots in stunning 12MP resolution
  • 3D touch gives users yet another weapon for the killing of time. No one is yet sure what it does…

Photo: Forbes


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